What do you intend to get by “great early minds of the world”—you need some more intro before you get to the total problems, an anecdonte etc. to connect Aristotle to now—how specific do you feel your thesis needs to be—is “underlying moral purpose” supposed to be sarcastic (also you don’t seem to come back to this at all)—is the thesis comparative with Finald, do we need to be more like Finland—you get to this when you say “to better understand these problems?”—you said 7 then 6 years than 16 for tests, is that right?—why can everyone not be measured by a number on a test, needs more explanation for different types of intelligence etc.—the transition to teacher training is good—too many “thens” for the transitions/moving along in the teaching positions section—we don’t require a doctoral degree for college level teaching—explain the description between job and vocation?—your thoughts about teachers aren’t really about the teachers, its about the structure of valuing teaching etc.—charter schools becoming the top performing schools needs citation or evidence—independent schools sound a lot like corporations, is that what you want?—conclusion needs a little more
First Audible Drillss--7/28 (Baxter)
What do you intend to get by “great early minds of the world”—you need some more intro before you get to the total problems, an anecdonte etc. to connect Aristotle to now—how specific do you feel your thesis needs to be—is “underlying moral purpose” supposed to be sarcastic (also you don’t seem to come back to this at all)—is the thesis comparative with Finald, do we need to be more like Finland—you get to this when you say “to better understand these problems?”—you said 7 then 6 years than 16 for tests, is that right?—why can everyone not be measured by a number on a test, needs more explanation for different types of intelligence etc.—the transition to teacher training is good—too many “thens” for the transitions/moving along in the teaching positions section—we don’t require a doctoral degree for college level teaching—explain the description between job and vocation?—your thoughts about teachers aren’t really about the teachers, its about the structure of valuing teaching etc.—charter schools becoming the top performing schools needs citation or evidence—independent schools sound a lot like corporations, is that what you want?—conclusion needs a little more